Dear Ann Landers, My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We have two fine children. Five years ago, my husband had an affair. I was devastated when I learned about it, but I did forgive him. He promised never to see the woman again, and he has kept his word.
Here's the problem, Ann. The woman has kept in close touch with my in-laws for the past five years. My mother-in-law is well aware that this is very upsetting to me, but she continues to be friendly to the would-be home wrecker. Even my husband has asked his mother to stop seeing the woman, but she continues to be chummy. We moved from Florida partly to get away from this unpleasant situation, and believe it or not, this woman had the gall to move to this same small town.
My nerves are completely shot, and I am beginning to develop health problems over this. Can you help me? -- Hurt in Alabama
Dear Alabama, You cannot do anything about that woman, but you can do something about yourself. Get some counseling at once. I've often said, "Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission," and the same goes for "torturing." You must put on an emotional raincoat and let whatever comes your way slide off.
As for your mother-in-law, you have no right to dictate to her who she should socialize with, so again, dear, put on that raincoat. Meanwhile, your doctor can give you something to settle your nerves.