- Dear Ann Landers: Last fall, my teenage son began smoking marijuana and was soon totally out of control.
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Section: Addictions, relationships, teenagers

Dear Ann Landers,
Last fall, my teenage son began smoking marijuana and was soon totally out of control. I sent him away to a special program for a short period of time. He is much better now, but I was heartsick at the time and could not understand how my son got into so much trouble. Two weeks ago, the truth came out, and I am furious. Last summer, I sent my two teenagers to visit their uncle and aunt across the country. I decided it would be a good way for my brother and his wife to get to know their niece and nephew. I also believed that my brother would be a good role model. I was mistaken. He and his wife smoked pot in front of my kids, offered it to them and made them promise not to tell me. My brother believes marijuana is not harmful, even though their oldest daughter has been in trouble with the law because of cocaine. I remember reading in your column that most cocaine addicts start with pot. My brother and his wife insist there is no connection between their casual use of pot and their child's current problems. I am so angry about this that I am considering a break with the entire family. -- A Canadian Mom

Dear Mom,
A pox on your brother and his wife for introducing your son to marijuana. Be thankful the "special program" was a success, and forget about becoming estranged from the entire family. Next summer, see that your son has a local job, and keep your eye on the companions he hangs out with. This is the best insurance that he will not go down that disastrous road again. Good luck.

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers