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Dear Ann Landers,
March 1 was the second anniversary of my husband's death. We were high school sweethearts in the early '40s, and he served in the Navy in World War II. We were three months away from our 50th anniversary when he died suddenly. Since then, I have learned to appreciate the pain others have suffered after losing a loved one, especially a spouse. I have been lucky to have a positive attitude because the challenges are endless -- loneliness, cooking for one, dealing with everyday problems that you once shared, trying to make a life without him. Thank God for attentive children, friends and the church. Their support is getting me through these sad months. I hope those who know widows or widowers will invite them for dinner or tea occasionally, or just offer friendship. In this busy world, it is easy to forget those in need. For elders who are lucky enough to still have their spouses -- please overlook their faults, and enjoy every minute you have together. -- Missing Him in Va.

Dear Missing Him,
Thank you for reminding my readers of what's important. Too often we don't appreciate what we have until we lose it.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
Bless her heart, I feel sad for her loss. I've been married and divorced twice. My son has turned his back on me and moved very far away with his 'new family'. I still catch a picture of him on Facebook (where I haven't yet been totally barred, that is) but that's about it. I feel saddened by his actions but now need to change my will to exclude him so that what's left of my estate won't go into probate. Yes, I had to vent this in Ann Landers column as so many others use this column for other reasons as well.

Ima Earfull's Comment
Dear Ann Landers, A short while ago, you advised, in a somewhat neutral position, a reader, living in a neighborhood, who wanted to get a rooster. From your reply, I gathered you had not spent time on a farm. Only in cartoons to roosters crow just at the break of day. They may start at the break of day, but they crow ALL DAY LONG. And amazing but true, some people work swing and graveyard work shifts. Whether is your barky dog, your rev'd engine, or your rooster crowing - all day long - if your neighbor can hear it inside their house, with door and windows shut, it's too loud.

Galina's Comment
RE Rooster . . . many communities allow backyard chickens but no rooster. Reader needs to check with her local Board of Health, the entity that issues the permit for the chickens, and get their list of regulations.
 
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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers