Dear Ann Landers,
fter so many years of reading your column, I never thought I would be writing a letter of my own. But I am in need of help and have faith in what you say. A year ago, I was separated from my wife. The split was her idea. She has no intention of returning to me. We have a 4-year-old daughter I miss a lot. When my wife left, I was lost and unable to cope with life. I even contemplated suicide. Then, I was introduced to a nice girl. She saw how desperate I was and gave me good advice. She even suggested that I fight for my child-something I had never thought of before. Without her, I wouldn't have made it through the months of suffering. I love this girl and want her to move in with me. My problem is that I am 27 and she is 13.1 know this sounds young, but she is very mature for her age. Her mother knows about me-but not her father. We both want to tell the world that we love each other. Please give me some advice. -Shorty

Dear Shorty,
I don't know what you are short of, but I have a feel-ing you could be short an important part of your anatomy if this girl's father ever finds out about you. My advice is: Stop seeing her before you get arrested for contribut-ing to the delinquency of a minor, and get some counseling. You sure do need it, bub.