AnnLanders.com, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Our Featured Column from the Archives: [Read More Featured Columns]
[Previous] [Next]
Section:
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
lease urge people to plan ahead while they still have all their marbles. It's a bad idea to leave those decisions for the family to argue about. I have made a written living will. Copies of it are in the hands of my medical-plan physician and are a part of my medical records. Copies are also in the hands of my sons. They know that if I'm not lucky enough to die in my sleep and must enter a nursing home or hospital, absolutely nothing is to be done to keep me alive. There will be no "heroic measures" or forced feeding. I make these wishes known before getting into the legal gobbledygook, thus reliev-ing my family of these decisions. My body will be donated to the Uni-versity of Washington School of Medicine. It is then to be cremated. There will be no funeral. The reasons for all this planning? My parents lived into their 90s in- dependendy in their own home, with Mother failing, but Dad able to care for her. When Dad had a stroke at the age I am now, my brother, who had power of attorney, put them both in a good nursing home with private room and bath. Dad hated the home and flushed his meals down the toilet. He died 18 months later. Soon after, Mother got pneumonia and had no will to live. Heroic measures were employed, and they brought her back to life. She lived three more years, helpless, flat on her back in the nurs-ing home she hated! My hearing is poor. I walk with a cane. I am a bit forgetful but still live alone. When I can no longer do that, I want to die. No one looks forward to death, but it is as natural as birth, and I believe most of us prefer it to being a burden. Don't you? -P.T.M., Seattle, Wash.

Dear P.T.M.,
I do, indeed, and I applaud your good sense. You've done a big favor to your children by planning in advance, and I'm sure they appreciate it. I hope your letter will encourage others to follow your example of preparing a living will now when they are of sound mind. It's the last gift they can give their loved ones and, I might add, one of the best.



Share this Column with Friends




What do you think?
Comments:

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
 
Please share your comments below:








Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

Tell us what you think?

Popular Columns

Tag Cloud


Ask a Question
or
Post a Comment

"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers