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Dear Ann Landers,
hat do you think of a 30-year-old father who, on his son's second birthday, pushes his son's face into the birth- 112/ ANN LANDERS day cake while 20 people are watching? Then, with a big grin, the father proceeds to videotape his child's stunned response and the tears that follow. For several weeks, the little boy knew that his birthday was coming. He kept repeating words like "birthday" and "two," while holding up two little fingers. He had looked forward to the party with such joy, and to have it end like that was heartbreaking. I was so upset that I left without saying goodbye. I am the child's grandmother. What would you have done? -Milwaukee Journal Reader

Dear Reader,
No loving father could have done such a thing. Be-neath that "joke," there is genuine hostility. I would not have left the party. I would have stayed, comforted the child and told his father in no uncertain terms that I didn't see any-thing funny about pushing his son's face into a cake-that it was cruel and disgusting. RS. I wonder if he was one of those grooms who shoved the wedding cake in his bride's face, a "custom" I find equally deplorable and highly suspect.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers