Dear Ann Landers,
our advice is usually excellent, but I think you could have done much better with your answer to the sixteen-year-old girl whose father said, "If you marry Clark you'll regret it because your children will be ugly, and it's not fair to give kids a handicap like that." Haven't you noticed that some of the most beautiful people have ugly parents and some of the most gorgeous couples produce physically unattractive children? What a child is going to look like is the biggest gamble known to mankind. It all depends on how the chromosomes 116 and genes combine. If the little rascals that carry the worst features of both parents get together, you'll have a real loser. On the other hand, if the best features of two average-looking people collide you may get a raving beauty or a handsome boy. So, why didn't you tell the girl to give her Dad that word, Ann?-Got The Best From Both

Dear Best,
Because I didn't think of it, Buster. But I'm glad you did. Dear Anne Landers: My father-in-law has been a widower since 1955. We hoped he would marry one of the fine women he has been taking out because soon he will be sixty years of age. Last night he brought over a knock-kneed blonde who wore white lipstick, no eyebrows, and a red dress cut down to her navel. His first words were, "Meet the wife." My husband almost passed out. Finally he said, "Are you Dizzy Doris?" She giggled and answered, "Yes, but you can call me Mother." Ann, my husband used to go to school with that girl. She is two years younger than he is. He couldn't stand her then, and he doesn't want her in our house now. I'm trying to keep peace in the family. Please help me.-Befuddled Dear B: Since Doris is obviously your father-in-law's choice, Dizzy though she may be, you should both accept her. Maintain the relationship on an invitation-only basis. Fol-low the directions on the jar of salad dressing: "Keep cool, but don't freeze."