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Section: relationships, abuse 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband, "Jim," and I have been married for two years. We dated for almost nine years before we married. Jim has always been moody and suffers from depression. I have suggested counseling and anti-depressant medication, but he refuses to get any help at all. Last summer, Jim and I got into a typical married-couple argument. It was no big deal, but he completely lost his temper. He threw our coffee table across the room and punched a hole in the wall over my head. He never apologized, and I let the incident blow over. Last Sunday, we had another minor disagreement. I left the room, and when I returned, Jim had thrown the Sunday paper in the trashcan, even though he knew I hadn't read it. I yelled at him, so he went into the kitchen and dumped the entire can of garbage into the middle of the living room. Later that evening, I told him I was not going to tolerate living in a house where things are thrown. He replied, "There are three doors in this place. Pick any one if you feel like leaving." I love Jim, but I fear his volatile behavior. I avoid arguments and don't complain about things because I hate confrontations with him. I am at the end of my rope. What should I do? -- Trying To Save My Marriage in Chicago

Dear Chicago,
Tell Jim, "Either get into counseling for anger management, or GET OUT." That man is making your life a living hell, and you should not have to put up with it. For his good, as well as for those who must be around him, Jim needs to face up to his problem and deal with it. You also need to protect yourself.