- Advice for your Everyday Life
Section: aging, relationships, grief-and-loss 

Dear Ann Landers,
My father recently passed away. He was 95. Right up to the end, his mind was active, and he was alert and aware. My sister and I were at his bedside, along with my father's wife. For several days, my stepmother insisted on whispering into Dad's ear that it was OK to die, OK to let go. She urged him "to follow the light." To me, it sounded like she was telling him to give up and get it over with. I found this offensive and disturbing. When I told her how I felt, she insisted she only wanted to make things easier for Dad. What do you say? -- Bob in New York

Dear N.Y.,
At 95, I doubt that anything she said to your father would have made much difference one way or the other. It sounds to me as if the real problem is an undercurrent of hostility between you and your stepmother. Give it up, and let your father rest in peace.

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers