AnnLanders.com - Advice for your Everyday Life
Section: relationships 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
My "significant other" (I'll call her Jasmine), after shacking up for two days with a former lover, suggested that we continue to be "companions." We were once married, but we divorced after a few years and have been going steady for nearly 20 years. We do not live together, but those who know us consider us a couple. We had agreed if there were a problem, we would discuss it and try to work out a solution. The first inkling I had of the affair was when Jasmine called me from the airport to say she was headed out to meet her former lover, who was only in this country for a short time. I did not ask her any questions about her plans, and she didn't volunteer any details. When she returned, she said there was no reason we couldn't continue our relationship as we had in the past, and that she intended to see the other guy three or four times a year. I told Jasmine she had no moral standards and that I wanted nothing more to do with her. She claims she cannot understand my pain and disappointment and sees no reason for me to be upset. Is this woman a sociopath, or am I missing something? -- Perplexed in Portland

Dear Portland,
You say you have been "going steady" with this woman for nearly 20 years, and now, she wants to meet a former lover three or four times a year? You are complaining that she has no moral standards. It sounds to me like the pot is calling the kettle black. If you want this woman all to yourself, why haven't you remarried her? I think you two need a rest from each other so you can step back and re-evaluate your relationship. I recommend it.


"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers