- Advice for your Everyday Life
Section: manners, money 

Dear Ann Landers,
I was recently invited to the wedding of a family member and was appalled at what was included with the invitation. It was a "suggestion" for a wedding gift. The enclosed card read, "It would be wonderful if you could contribute to 'Jim and Betty's' dream honeymoon in Jamaica. The check should be made out to ... " Is this something new? Am I out of date? Please reply in the paper, with no mention of where I live. -- Appalled Plus

Dear Appalled,
To my knowledge, it is not now, nor has it ever been, good manners to enclose a gift suggestion with any kind of invitation. I hope you will ignore that crude attempt to shake down friends and family members. Send whatever you wish. It is, however, OK for those who are being married for the second or third time to enclose a note saying, "No gifts, please. We have everything we need."

"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers