Dear Ann Landers, I am a 34-year-old single physician who has never been married or even come close. The truth is, I never found anyone I truly wanted to be with -- until last year. Sound good? Well, wait. The woman I have fallen in love with is a very youthful 53-year-old -- and she is married.
I do not want to jeopardize her marriage by having an affair, but I do want a friendship with her. We talk on the phone two or three times a week, but she must call me from work to avoid arousing suspicion at home. I cannot call her house and ask her to have lunch with me or go to a movie.
Is there any proper, non-threatening way I could have a close relationship with this woman without upsetting her family? Am I better off just leaving her alone? I'm afraid I will never meet anyone else whose company I enjoy so much. Please give me some guidance. -- A Smitten M.D. in N.C.
Dear N.C. Doc, Stop playing with dynamite before you blow up the woman's marriage and your medical practice, as well. Surely there is a single woman in North Carolina who would be an appropriate companion with romantic possibilities. Let your friends know you are interested, and put yourself out there. If you need an incentive, think about how your life would be enriched with a couple of children. That should do it.
Gem of the Day (Credit Mark Twain): We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again -- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.