AnnLanders.com - Advice for your Everyday Life
Section: children, sexuality, money, relationships 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 26-year-old woman with a problem. When I was in high school, I cheated on my steady boyfriend with an older man. I discovered I was pregnant and was sure the older man was the father of the baby. Last December, after eight years of paying child support, the man requested a DNA test to determine paternity. I was stunned when it turned out that my daughter isn't his after all. Here's the real problem. When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend asked if the baby was his, and I assured him it was not. That boyfriend is now happily married and has children. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost six years, and he wants to adopt my daughter. Should I try to contact my old boyfriend and disrupt his life by telling him he has a daughter? Part of me feels he is entitled to know, but another part worries that I would only mess up more lives. Please tell me what to do. -- Kitty in K.C.

Dear Kitty in K.C.,
I'm with the part of you that says leave it alone. If any of my readers think otherwise, I would like to hear their reasoning.


"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers